Message from a Real Republican
Clever, heartfelt, unfortunately true
The music exec Mike Curb sent a stinger of an April Fool’s Day message this morning to “all staff” of his record company on Nashville’s Music Row. It’s worth your time to read, but first some context.
Mike is known for many accomplishments: He has been an entertainer and an entrepreneur in the industry. Plus, over the decades, he also has established impeccable Republican credentials at the Ronald Reagan level.
Some politicians today will claim Reagan as their model or mentor, but Mike Curb’s bona fides are real. He was an early Reagan ally and was the Lieutenant-Governor of California, 1979-83. (He was also Acting Governor whenever Gov. Jerry Brown, Democrat, would travel out-of-state.) Later on, Mike was chairman of the Republican National Finance Committee.
This is why his April 1 message to his Curb/Word Entertainment team caught my eye when my friend the Curb Records consultant Bill Ivey shared Mike’s email message with me before lunch.
Considering all those present-day pretenders to the Reagan mantle, and how they never quite measure up, Mike’s message was typically clever, timely, heartfelt and (unfortunately) true. I quote it in its entirety below. Enjoy.
All Staff:
Now that the Vaccine is going to be available to all, we strongly recommend that everyone get the vaccine. For those who refuse to take the vaccine, we will set up a tent on the roof of the office. Unfortunately, the tent will not be rain proof, flood proof or tornado proof, but fortunately these storms don’t happen in Nashville. For those who don’t believe in modern medicine, you most likely won’t need our Company medical plan.
You need to be aware that even though President Biden has offered a very positive expansion plan for Medicaid, Governor Lee may continue to keep many of you out of Medicaid to prove that he is a conservative. We will have a company lottery which will be open to everyone in the tent. To win the lottery you will need to guess the number of discriminatory Bills that Governor Lee will sign regarding LGBTQ restrictions and the number of conventions and business opportunities that our great state will lose because of his discriminatory Legislation.
It appears that Lee will allow Open Carry for your Guns in the tent and you can still look forward to having your Assault Rifle waiting for you at home until President Biden bans them.
Senator Blackburn will call in to our tent to explain why we should continue to discriminate toward DACA adults and children. Also she will explain to our great Asian friends, her statement that the entire Chinese population is criminal and how this will bring our Country together and how this won’t lead to further hate crimes. Even though Gay Marriage has been accepted by the Supreme Court, she will explain to our great gay employees why she still wants to end their marriages.
Unless the Governor objects, Transgenders in our tent will be allowed to use the bathrooms of their biological grandparents and we will provide porta-potties and Depends underwear for those who are uncomfortable with sharing bathrooms with others that you may wish to discriminate against.
I hope that this is just an April Fool’s letter on April 1, 2021, and that someday all hate will end and that our very divided Country will unite and come together. Thanks, Mike
Excellent. This from a Republican from days of yore!
Very very astute